Here’s what my linkedin profile says:

I'm not looking to change jobs right now, but if you think you can change my mind, I'm open to hear from you if it's a start up with a good business plan within 15 minutes of San Mateo, you are not a recruiter, and you specifically describe the position you are trying to fill. All of you recruiters with "wonderful opportunities" with "several local companies" just please go pester someone else.

Here is what I.M. Dipshit, owner, Dipshit and Associates writes me:

I’ve been trying to connect with you regarding a search for a position, but am unable to reach you via the phone. Please give me a call if you have a moment or send me a number where I can reach you. My number is: 800-xxx-xxxx or xxx-xxx-xxxx.

Am I going to respond to him? Sure, I’m just going to copy and paste that paragraph from my profile and see if he can follow simple directions. As to how hard this guy has been trying to reach me via the phone, searching for my name with any reasonable search terms (“software engineer”, “san mateo”) would get you my homepage, with my resume linked. As a bonus, it has even more information about the fact that I’m not interested in changing jobs unless you have something really outstanding.

I have a plan I’ve been considering. I’ll charge for my time to talk to recruiters. Force him to paypal me $100 / hour ahead of time to listen to him. It’s all about aligning incentives and internalizing externalities. Now, a recruiter is making over $10,000 per placement. It’s the same asymmetric cost / reward structure as spam and junk mail. It’s worth it for him to call incessently. If he spends 20 hours / week on the phone, that’s his job.

To me, the prospective job switcher, most of the time changing jobs is pretty close to no gain. I have gains in the form of improving my resume by switching to a job where I will learn new skills. I have monetary gains. I may have personal gains if i dislike my present job. But I have costs as well. A job search is a lot of hassle, a lot more hassle for the job seeker than for the recruiter, because this isn’t my job. It means stepping out of the office and taking calls, taking personal time to interview, and so on. Additionally, and probably most significant, switching jobs impose a cost on future employability. If you change jobs too many times, no one wants to hire you.

So if the recruiter honestly believes his sales pitch, that this is a wonderful opportunity and I’m a great fit for it, how about putting some money on that? You send $100 to my PayPal account, I set up a one hour period when I will be available to talk to you. Additionally, I’d make the terms of the contract (and money is changing hands, so this is easy to establish that there is a contract) be that the recruiter is only authorized to send your resume to those companies that you authorize during the phone call. This guards you against a recruiter sending out your resume to companies that you later contact on your own or through someone else, in the hopes of being able to claim the bounty.

I think the issue here is that if a recruiter is such a jackass that he’s going to send me that kind of vague email after what I said in my profile, I can only expect that he’ll ignore what I say when I tell him I’m not interested in enterprise, I’m not interested in large companies, I’m not interested in relocating, etc.